Sunday, May 11, 2008


Speed Racer

Emphasis on "Speed." An insane combination of Rollerball (the crappy original, not the crappy remake), Death Race 2000 and some kind of neon-fueled acid trip involving lots and lots of Hotwheels track. Presented with a deafening sound and explosive visual intensity designed to induce seizures in Japanese schoolchildren. Edited and directed by a hyperkinetic ADHD Asperger's Syndrome five-year-old. On crack. And bizarrely enough, the movie is actually LESS violent than the original cartoon series thanks to Plot Device Super Balls that eject the drivers when their vehicles unconvincingly explode (perhaps due to the Treknobabble matter/anti-matter drives that run them) into a billion white hot fragments.

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